Talk:le junla zbasu

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Posted by adamgarrigus on Tue 20 of June, 2006 00:28 GMT posts: 92

Kudos! A fine & inspiring translation indeed.

I found some typos & a handful of other things I wanted to comment on. I'll split it into two posts, typos first.

Paragraph no. 2

lo ko'a tutci jo'u tadji cu carmi ralji

Looks like that should be {ralci}.

i lo tcecmada'u po'u la niuton cu junla zbasu sarju gi'e dasri smadi lo du'u lo brabra poi bevri lo te gusni fu lo kumfa cu bilga lo nu muvdu ja'i lo junla nu muvdu

Those should be {sarji} and {darsi}.


Paragraph no. 5

i da'i lo zunla zbasu cu zasti

That should be {junla}.

mi'e komfo,amonan

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adamgarrigusPosted by adamgarrigus on Tue 20 of June, 2006 01:42 GMT posts: 92

http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Clockmaker15px|(external link)

Paragraph 1

… the maid was careless and since a month, the water stood unchanged.

Looks like that phrase was left untranslated.

i ca lo xa moi ke clani solnanca cu tolcanci fa ko'a goi lo tcecmada'u poi naldu'i se menli

I'm not sure that {naldu'i} is sufficient to translate Stevenson's "unrivalled", which carries the connotation of "unrivalled and superior". Maybe {mutce zmadu}?

Paragraph 2

i lo tcecmada'u po'u la niuton

This seemed to me to say that the animalcule was named Newton, while I reckon Stevenson was using "Newton" as a metaphor for "premier scientist". This leads me to suggest something like {lo me la niuton tcecmada'u}.

Paragraph 3

i no da mleca fi lo ka jetnu se jarco i no da mleca fi lo ka lakne

It seems to me that if "proved" is {jetnu se jarco}, then "provable" is {jetnu se jarco se kakne}. Or something.

mi'e komfo,amonan

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Posted by Anonymous on Tue 20 of June, 2006 16:28 GMT

On 6/19/06, adamgarrigus wrote: > Re: le junla zbasu > http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Clockmaker15px|(external link) > > Paragraph 1

>
the maid was careless and since a month, the water stood unchanged.

> Looks like that phrase was left untranslated.

Yes. The truth is I first translated it from a Spanish translation (I did not have the original at hand at the time), which did not include the "since a month", and when I later did check with the original I could not easily fit it in the Lojban and decided to leave it out:

lo lumci selfu na kurji gi'e na gasnu lo nu basti

The proper place for {ze'a lo masti} would be right before the {na}, but that's ungrammatical. After {gasnu} it is grammatical but logically wrong. So I had to change it to something like {gi'e gasnu ze'a lo masti na ku ...} which I didn't like so I finally decided not to include it.

>
i ca lo xa moi ke clani solnanca cu tolcanci fa ko'a goi lo tcecmada'u poi naldu'i se menli

> I'm not sure that {naldu'i} is sufficient to translate Stevenson's "unrivalled", which carries the connotation of "unrivalled and superior". Maybe {mutce zmadu}?

I don't know, I think "unequal" in the relevant sense is enough.

> > Paragraph 2

>
i lo tcecmada'u po'u la niuton

> This seemed to me to say that the animalcule was named Newton, while I reckon Stevenson was using "Newton" as a metaphor for "premier scientist". This leads me to suggest something like {lo me la niuton tcecmada'u}.

You're absolutely right. I was misled by the Spanish translation, which had "el animalnculo Newton" instead of "el Newton animalnculo" which would have been a much better match for the English. I should have noticed that when I read the English, but I didn't. I'll change it as you suggest.


> Paragraph 3

>
i no da mleca fi lo ka jetnu se jarco i no da mleca fi lo ka lakne

> It seems to me that if "proved" is {jetnu se jarco}, then "provable" is {jetnu se jarco se kakne}. Or something.

This one can again be blamed on the Spanish (Sp. "probable" can be either "proveable" or "probable"), but this time I had noticed it and didn't change it anyway, just because. I guess I will change it though.

ki'e sai mi'e xorxes